Beneath that cheerful facade, lies a girl who's vulnerable and who's hurting very much deep down inside... as I tried to keep those tears at bay, on this very special day, I realise, I simply could not...
Happy birthday to me. :) Sweet sixteen.
Why did my heart have to hurt so much on this special day? Why did the pain linger on and not go away? What happened ytd, it was supposed to be special. It was... but... it was unexpected. The initial pain that came is nth compared to what I feel now... and it sucks. Why did I have to feel this way on my birthday? Why?... I tried very hard to be strong and smile for the sake of my friends... How could anyone possibly be so troubled on her birthday? But I really love all you guys, thanks for all your wishes kay? They were all really sweet. Thanks especially to chian yil, claribel, rasina for your gifts. I love you guys.
And you. Thank u for trying to cheer me up. If you're reading this, you know who you are. Thanks for being so sweet.
It's been a long time since I felt such pain... a really long time. I've never cried this badly in a long time. But I hope it goes away... I really hope it does.
Maybe guys are different from girls. Girls are more vulnerable, in a way. And to make things worse, I'm me... too soft-hearted? Since when was that ever deemed a bad thing? Well, maybe it is... as it can make one weak. Maybe girls have it harder than guys do...
And I never ever felt upset with anyth u did... nor did we argue. But this time, I really got hurt... It just happened and now you move away. How would a girl feel? Or me?.. I understand your intentions but I can't help but hurt inside. But I shall still say sorry if I had caused this... I'm not self-centered I know I'm not the only one facing this pain.
To everyone out there, I didn't intend to write about my feelings but I really didn't want to bottle things up... I know if I did... well I don't know what stupid things I would have done. But if you're reading don't be worried or anything... rah may look small and weak, but in truth she can be a brave soul.;) Mr ma said that too u know... :)
So i'm gonna put on a happy face when I cut my cake... hope in all my heart that I'd heal from this... that I'd be a better, stronger person. Hey, I'm sixteen now. :)
And tmr's hari raya. Hope i'd feel alot better by then. I'd do anything as long as I don't dampen the mood, even if it means to smile whether it kills me. I'd give up my heartful happiness in return for my loved ones' in a heartbeat.
If I may have these wishes, I wish to: 1) Have the strength to be able to focus on the 'o's. 2) Have all my family and friends be happy always. 3) Be a better person each day.
Praying deep down in my heart that I'd get past this. And I'm sorry mum.
The Girl ♥
name:Shahirah
school::)
birthday:30/09/92
age:16
Her Wishes ♥
Happiness!
Long lasting love.
For all my loved ones to be safe and happy^^
FInd out where I belong.